Create passion to your dreams

Just saying..

2011-12-29T18:38:00.000-08:00

i cant give you a branded things just like her did...

i cant give you a perfect conversation like her did...

i cant cheer you up like her did...

but..i only can give you my heart...

i am sorry. im not perfect...

but i always put on effort on something i did..

I'm just saying...

how i wish i can be like her...

give whatever you want...

i am not jealous... i'm dispirited

"May the new year gives you a taste of common sense so that you never make resolutions again"

2011-12-19T20:18:00.000-08:00

2011 are about to take a bow...

2012..hye.

2011 just nice.

financial- not so perfect..But Alhamdulillah im not dying for food or shelter

Life- Standard for homosapiens :D :l :( :) ;p

Overall 2011 keep making me stronger. I am a weaker. LOL.

Eventhough no vacation on 2011, i still can handle myself or else err..

2011 full of laughter, sadness, madness, greatness, gloomness, happiness, romance errrrr....

i forgive...i know i dont easily forget.but i am trying. :) i'm not that evil and bitch as people thought...:)

And for sure 2012..it is a good chance to make a big steps towards myself. Hope i will find my true soulmate. And that person will guide me towards happiness and full of romance!

To person that i care, May throughout 2012 you adorn the most beautiful attire called "Smile" .. cuz i cant live with those messy frown!

packing up all 2011!

Well, with full embrace you are most welcome 2012. Cant wait for it .

With Love,

Miss M

who will be the FUTURE?

2011-12-01T22:57:00.000-08:00

no one can tell.

smile like the world never ends..

dance like nobody watching....

pray.pray.pray.

destiny cant be changed...

But..who knew..

Dear Above

2011-11-30T18:51:00.000-08:00

Dear above,

I will always pray for everyone..

Joy

Happiness

Bless

Wealth

Health

Fortunately

Please throw away my sense of arrogant, demonic, greedy, my bad side dear above..

Ordinary people want ordinary life.

No one can promise a good happy life nor the perfect one.

Throw away dishonest behavior. Fraudulent is not good at all.

Dear above,

i'm grateful for what i have

Guide me to your path..

there's some crack in my faith..i am just a little creature dear above...

Thats Her

2011-11-09T18:46:00.000-08:00

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep… wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in track pants, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU… The one who turns to his friends and says, “thats her”….”

The Sun is Shining Back

2011-11-07T18:09:00.000-08:00

I love when it is a word of simple life you apply in your life. A small attention would probably make someone you like being lovable to you.

Your warm embrace make her feel safe and secure again.

Your smile, tell her that you are happy again and you get what she was trying to tell you before.

Your kindness make her fall for you again. A little appreciation to your little angel make a big ones in her heart.

She is keep holding on because of the above signs that her guardian angel are back.

Is it going to be last?

Beautiful Metaphoric

Can I?

2011-11-07T17:58:00.000-08:00

make you smile?

make you laugh?

make you happy?

accept your flaws?

love you?

grow old with you?

have fun with you?

understand you?

be there when you have a hard time?

make you breakfast?

be there when you get home?

can I / you ?

:)

Touchable lullaby

2011-11-05T20:42:00.000-07:00

As I were asleep. I heard 'takbir' out from nowhere and I realize its Eid Adha . I miss my family . I just wanna go home. I miss my real family. I don't have any family in here. I cry ..because I am a loner..I wish I have my family in here .

.CRAWLING.SHIVERING.

2011-10-31T21:25:00.000-07:00

Hello new life..maybe it is not the end of you little angel..keep on walking if you cant fly..keep on crawling if you cant walk. Face this big world in a small body of you. Keep on breathing. There might be a shiny light focus for you if you are hoping for it. head up, chin up little angel. Plan your day as usual. Find a little happiness from a true friends. Have fun with life,go out travel, don't ever fall in love with guy. It hurts you so bad little angel. Fly alone maybe risky for you but it is better than to have someone beside you, one is simple. Never ever fall in love little angel. That is lesson you get, first and last. You cant rewind it and fix it. Remember little angel, life is too grudge to you to handle. Your no longer little angel, you are angel on your own.

I'm a DREAMER

2011-10-31T19:13:00.000-07:00

Life become dull again and again. I am loner now. It is November. And November i was hoping for a happiness. But will my wish granted? who knew. Yeah.. i demand for a healthy good life. But it is sounds like mission impossible to me. I can't make it . And now i am falling..again and again . Once i stop care about person called GUY .

I wish my life was like a Hollywood movie ..as though as P.S I Love you but life is ain't that easy to forget someone you love.

Shout out from Little Angel

2011-10-27T19:15:00.000-07:00

I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care. I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are and what you do. I'm sorry, I can't help it, I'm so in love with you.

I know I shouldn't like him because I know it's not working and so I convince myself I don't. I see him and he'll put his arm around me or just say anything and then, all that logic and convincing, just evaporates.

It hurts to breathe, because evry breath I take proves that I can live without you.

I guess when your heart gets broken, you begin to see the cracks in everything.

Falling for someone at the first time is easy...it's the second time, after you have fallen and trusted someone to catch you and they didn't...when it becomes difficult to fall again.

I could fill a thousand pages telling you how I felt and still you would understand. So now I leave you without a sound, except my heart shattering as it hits the ground.

How does a heart work if it's broke?

I never stopped loving you, I just stopped letting it show.

I keep myself busy with things to do, but everytime I pause, I still think of you.

I wish he meant it when he kissed my lips, because then I could look back and remember someone loved me, instead I can only look back and remember someone used me.

Hearts will never be made practical until they can be made unbreakable.

Sometimes I wish I was a little kid again, skinned knees are easier to fix rather then broken hearts.

Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to be sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries, avoid all entanglements, lock it up safe in the casket of your selfishness, but in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken, it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

Love, the perfect virture, is often refused to the teenager. "They don't know what love is." We do. Every teenager knows how much they loved by how deeply they hurt when the relationship is over.

I'll always love him. He carved out his piece of me that I can never get back and even if I could, it wouldn't matter because he has torn it to shreds. So now there's this hole that only he can fill. The thing is, I know he'll never ever fill it, because now he's off with some other things and he forgot the way back into my heart. If only he'd call and ask for directions.

My once upon a time, didn't end happily ever after,

I thought I forgot you, but I guess I forgot to.

I never knew it hurt so much to lose something I never had.

Sometimes you just have to hold your head up high, try not to cry, and say goodbye.

The sky isn't always blue, the sun doesn't always shine, it's alright to fall apart sometimes.

All they do is break your heart and I'm not sure I have a heart left to break.

I'm only happy when it rains.

All i want is to be in love. I dream of falling asleep in the arms of guardian angel and waking up to complete happiness and utter bliss, why can't I have that?

Tell me how long till I'm not just dreaming, how long till somebody cares, how long till I meet my guardian angel? Tell me how long till I fall in love?

I know I should find someone new, but all I find is myself thinking of you.

I never felt love until I loved you. I never felt hurt until I was hurt by you. I never had a dream until that dream was you. I never felt loss until the day I lost you. Yet I don't want you back. I don't need you here. I don't miss you at all...you're just the best thing that I ever had.

Perhaps you'd be a bit surprised how often, if you knew, a joke, a song, a memory will make me think of you.

How come whenever I think I'm over you, you talk to me and make me feel like I'm the most loved person in the world. And I realize I still love you nd I can't or won't get over you.

I'm not the kind of girl who thinks a guys is the answer to everything...I'm just tired of being alone.

I yearn for a love that won't burn me in the end.

One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart you can't utter from your mouth.

I've been broken before, I know what it's like to see something funny and not laugh.

You met me. You introduced yourself to me. You were a friend to me. You grew fond of me. You grew to appreciate me. You liked me. You asked me. I answered. You held me. You touched me. You needed me. You wanted me. You loved me. You grew tired of me. You felt trapped by me. You lied to me. You cheated on me. You hurt me. You left me.

It's kinda hard to go out with someone, when you know, deep down, you're still in love with someone else. Its really tough and i cant imagine how am i to falling in love with another person again and again.

Tears are words the heart can't say.

We came to be underneath the stars above, what started out as liking quickly turned to love. I sensed a certain something, that mine was true, I knew I waited my enitre life to fall in love with someone like you.

They say that it is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all, but what do they say when you are still in love with the love you lost?

If it's true that love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear. Why did we get out of order. My tears came before your kiss that I am still waiting for.

I'll have another chance, I'll find another guy, I'll see another day and I'll build another world and I'll find another life, just like you told me to, I'll find another love, but there will never be...another you.

Crushes you get over and the tears go away, but loving you is different, the treats will always stay.

You see my soul, it's kind of gray. You see my heart, you look away. You see my wrist, I feel your pain. You know my cheeks aren't just wet from the rain.

Sticks and stones may break my bones and rip my skin apart, but no one has hurt me like you, you really broke my heart.

Words cannot fully express the extent of my love for him. But if you saw the way I cried when he left me, then perhaps you'd understand.

Now I know I have a heart because I can feel it breaking.

I sit alone and cry. It is my destiny to be the queen of pain.

Between my love and agony, my thoughts converge to you.

I never understood why people thought loved sucked, until I met you.

It's easy to convince yourself that you aren't in love with someone, until you see them or smell someone wearing their cologne, and then you're like, 'here we go again.' So my conclusion is this: you don't ever stop loving someone.It's more a matter of learning to deal with the pain of not having them anymore.

i wont feel better until it stop..I cant feel you anymore!

2011-10-26T19:01:00.000-07:00

I still can feel it. Be sure to change your life ~because i am getting tired and bored. Do i have to mention what is your problem?i don't think so. You know what is going on. I keep silent because i hate fight. I hate arguing. So i just leave you with your kind of situation. I am happy with my life now even though i have nothing. My life become clean. i can do it...why not you ? it makes me feel i am on my way to hate you. You still have a lot of peeps who will take care of you and destroying your day. But all of this thing start within voice deep inside your heart, if it is bring you into wrong path,then its up to you to decide. They say love can change a person..but not you. Hard as stone,but think back when that stone hit you back. Feel any better? Well peeps can heal it right?! boohoo! .

Pray for your happiness. Hope you will change someday.

You never realize what you have until its gone

2011-10-20T19:23:00.000-07:00

That title is what my housemate told me last 2 days. She is going back to her hometown and never came back here again. Thank God, she has a supportive family who always support her in whatever she does. Love make her sick. She is independent yet cheerful girl but when came in love situation she became so weak and sick. Struggle to get a new life is hard but it is better for her to moved on. But its normal...'You never realize what you have until its gone'
That words she gave to the person who once was take her heart and melt her into a soft person. But then soft things can become hard like a rock once it left to and abandoned. And that hard things will hit you back. Am i going to be like her? I am not strong anymore. I just have faith..if there is no faith i will end up like her. Start from now, i wont take care of other feelings, i just concern on mine. Maybe its sounds a bit selfish, but who else going to take care of your own feeling. I am tired to taking a good care of other person feeling while they don't give a damn about it. My patience is way too low already. Sorry. I am too much swallowing what you have gave to me. Bitter or sweet. My bad..keep on silent and keep holding on.
Okay back to reality~!!

I and others will feel gloom without her..our stylista sister. I will miss you. Thanks for the dress!

Making the other happy

2011-10-20T00:14:00.000-07:00

Life are always incomplete.When you are happy everything is alright.But when it become a darkest day of your life everything will be feel unacceptable and ignorance. How was it feels when karma hits you back? I feel in my life, no everyone understands me, and I don't understand all people too. I think it is normal. Sometimes I have a problem with the other, maybe I make or the other makes. I don't think to judge that someone is good or bad, because everyone changes and changes. I can't say that in one life, one person will not make a mistake. Everyone can do it.

Not all people are happy in their life, some are happy and some are not happy. Some pass the life with sad, he doesn't have good friend, he is poor, he is ugly, he is difficult, he don't have good skills because he doesn't have a chance to be better. He feels that life is very difficult for him. I don't agree that everyone can make lucky in their life. Some people can't get the lucky, even he has worked hard. I don't want to abuse him, don't want to give so many reasons. Life is life.

Everyone wants to be happy including me. Everyone wants to be a cinderella, a person's life changes in one night. Everyone hopes to have a beautiful life, have good friends, be lucky and never suffered.

I want to be happy, the other wants to be happy too. I want to make someone happy because when he is happy I become happy too. Like as a case. A poor and ugly woman, she wants to get married, but she and her boyfriend don't have money. If an angel comes to her, gives her a beauty and money, she will be very happy. She will feel very lucky and she pass her marriage happily. Like as flowers blossoms in the park.

I want that someone changes in his life. I don't want that someone is sad in his life because sadness make life much more difficult.

Flowers blossom in the park. When the park is arid, the park is very ugly. When the flowers blossom, everyone can see red, yellow, white, purple, blue and the other colors. It is really beautiful.Yes,it is...

Life is too short to hold a grudge..also too long

2011-10-18T20:30:00.000-07:00

I wish I could believe you then I'll be alright
But now everything you told me really don't apply
To the way I feel inside
Loving you was easy once upon a time..
But now my suspicions of you have multiplied
And it's all because you lied

I only give you a hard time...
Cause I cant go on and pretend like
I haven't tried to forget this
But I'm much too full of resentment

Just can't seem to get over the way you hurt me
Don't know how you gave another who didn't mean a thing, no
With everything you gave to me
I thought I could forgive you and I know you've changed
As much as I wanna trust you I know it ain't the same

I only give you a hard time...
Cause I cant go on and pretend like
I haven't tried to forget this
But I'm much too full of resentment

I may never understand why
I'm doing the best that I can and I
I tried and I tried to forget this
I'm much too full of resentment

I'll always remember feeling like I was NO GOOD
Like I couldn't do it for you like your mistress could

Loved you more than ever
More than my own life
The best part of me I gave you
Lived with Sacrifice
And it's all because I ...huh.

I only give you a hard time
Cause I cant go on and pretend like
I tried and I tried to forget this
But I'm too damn full of resentment

I know she was attractive but I was here first
Been ridin' with you for a years why did I deserve
To be treated this way by you, you
I know your probably thinking what's up with me
I been crying for too long what did you do to me
I used to be so strong but now you took my soul
I'm crying cant stop crying cant stop crying
You could of told me that you wasn't happy
I know you didn't wanna hurt me
But look what you done-done to me now
I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she's half of me
How could you...

ALL AT ONCE I WILL STOP CARING

2011-10-12T19:45:00.000-07:00

This patience is killing me inside slowly..

i cant stop thinking about it.

i am so in pain due to this matters.

i cant take it anymore..

i can smell lies miles away from here..

Love song cannot cure this pain..it hurts so much.

Help..let me go. This is so bad...really bad..

I try to make it clean and legal. Back to the way it was...But i just cant...negative aura linger around.

i just cant get through this anymore... atleast i am trying. I AM TRYING SO HARD. indeed.

Maybe i am not the one who can enjoy bad things with you.because i am normal.

I want a normal life for God sake. ;/

All at once i will stop care about you. I will..arghh..I try. (i know i just cant..but i try and i will.)

“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow”

2011-10-04T20:18:00.000-07:00

I try to be strong and face all my day without feel any sadness and regret. I am trying...

Lord, forgive all my sins.. Give me happiness..

Lord, give me a good health to make people around me happy on what i am doing..

Lord, prosperity are not easy to earn..but Lord, make me strong and courageous.

Amin~

How to make your man feel loved? I wish one day...;)

2011-09-29T10:43:00.000-07:00

This is how I will do to the one i love. Sounds funny but i don't know how to explain it. Just go through it and you will know. enjoy!

Jump up and greet him warmly when he gets home..

When you've had a long day and you're finally stretched out on the couch watching your favourite TV series when you hear your man arriving home. Resist the urge to send out a muffled "hi honey" from underneath the throw - instead get up to meet him at the door with a smile and a kiss. He'll feel like he's #1 in your world! Turning your full attention to him also helps the two of you re-connect after a day apart, and sets the stage for a great evening together.How sweet is that? :p

Fix his favorite yummy homemade breakfast.;)

There's some truth to the old saying "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach"! Try this on a weekend morning when neither of you feels too rushed. Fix nasi lemak, pancake, scrambled egg or whatever your man loves best...then sit down next to him and take your time eating together and talking. He'll love it that you made the effort to prepare a special meal for him. He's so lucky to be with a domestic queen like you!(Yeah rite...haha..but its true!)

Plan a night out and take him to a movie you know he'd enjoy.

You get extra points if he knows it's not one you'd normally pick (note: it's totally okay to close your eyes during the violent parts.) It's a great boost for a man's ego to walk into a guy movie with you by his side. If you keep an upbeat demeanor and just enjoy the fact that you're giving your man a truly enjoyable night out, he'll feel like the luckiest man alive. Like myself, i don't really into violent genre,but anything to pleased my man surely you have to!

Express appreciation.

I'm sure you thank your man on those occasions when he does something that strikes you as particularly thoughtful and sweet - but you can make him feel loved any day by simply noticing the small kindnesses that often go overlooked. If your man opens the door for you, takes the trash out, opens a tight lid, or fixes the drain, take the opportunity to let him know you appreciate him. A warm smile and a quick word of thanks will remind him that he's admired and valued just for who he is. Who wouldn't love that?

And for man: come on, show some love. Loving someone but not telling and not showing, is like wrapping a gift without giving it. ;)

Tolerant and pleased.

2011-09-28T21:16:00.000-07:00

Ya Allah,

Am i doing right? How am i supposed to express everything out ? i have tried my best to rebuilt back.

Ya Allah,

Help me. I am not the strongest nor the weakest one..but i want to make it happen .. To your path Ya Allah.

Ya Allah,

I am so bless with the chance that given. Ya Allah please help me go throughout this things.

Ya Allah,

I have no revenge to anyone.But please make this heart soft and being forgiving Ya Allah.

Amin . Amin . Amin .

its been a sad gloomy day for me.but i know..everything that happen will make me realized someday..all kind of things in this world were not mine. i have to accept it for better or worst. only the almighty knows.

I Mean It.

2011-09-14T01:37:00.000-07:00

Ten simple ways to fall in love...again:

1. Enjoy memories
We know that our emotions are connected to thoughts, so when we reflect on good, happy memories we recreate the emotions and feelings in our body/mind that went along with the experience. Our great feelings are associated with those we shared the experiences, so while we don't want to live in the past, enjoying our memories together is a simple way to enjoy our partners.

2. Plan for the future and share your dreams
Having something to look forward to is one of the keys to living a happy life. We humans seem to need goals, dreams, hope, and a purpose. Without them we tend to get stuck; life may seem boring or purposeless. When we share our dreams, work toward our goals and envision a future with our partner, we tend to work toward this future. Again, this doesn't mean we don't live in the present and enjoy the moment, it just means we hold our dreams in our hearts.

3. Live in the present
Of course this comes next. Enjoy the moment. Take each second of beauty and expand it, bask in it, allow it to fill your soul. Don't let even one minute of joy, laughter, or pleasure be taken for granted. Allow yourself to treasure the time you have with your partner; look for those moments of quiet peace, or vibrant joy, or wild excitement. If they are few and far between, make more of them!

4. Demonstrate appreciation
Show your partner you care. Tell your spouse you love him. Do everything you can to make sure your beloved knows (doesn't have to guess), that you adore and cherish her. Don't assume they know and don't think that because you mentioned it a few years ago they remember.

5. Look for the good in your partner
Remember when you first met? You saw nothing wrong with your significant other. She was fabulous; he was perfect. Of course in time we tend to see a little more of each other and that impression may fade just a tad so consciously find (not just look) for the great qualities and traits of your mate. Don't just come up with a thing or two, how about write down a hundred wonderful things about your partner, then share it!

6. Engage in new activities
Humans tend to thrive on new experiences. There is something innate in us where we want to learn, grow, and expand our knowledge, understanding, or talents. It seems to me that we often get into ruts with our partners, doing the same things over and over again when one of the great ways to get out of the rut and to put some vibrancy into the relationship is to get out and do something new. Try something really unusual, or out of the ordinary for a change!

7. Have lots of fun
It is so much to laugh together. I'm thinking it is nearly impossible to not love those who make us laugh and those whose days we can brighten. Lighten up, find the humor in everything, and have lots of fun.

8. Work on projects together
Be a team! Find something that you and your partner can create together. When a couple is working in unison to bring forth something beneficial to their family, their neighborhood, their community, the world, or even animals, they can create a bond that is incredibly powerful. When working toward an important goal, we tend to see the greatness in each other, find ways to support one another, and have a deeper sense of the importance and strength of the relationship.

9. Remember what is truly important in life
Think about what is important in the long term, not what will give you a moment of pleasure. Reflect on how you want your life to be remembered when you are ninety years old. Ponder what you truly value in life. Remind yourself of your core personal values or morals. It might be that you move from wanting more excitement in your life right now to holding a desire for true and lifelong devotion and love.

10. Give attention and support your beloved
It sounds strange but we know that the more we give, care, or serve another the more we love them; NOT the more they love us but the more we love them. We love those to whom we give love and care and attention and service. The more you give the more you love. Cool!

Don't give up. So long as you believe the relationship is worth saving, so long as you want the relationship to be healed I hold it as possible. Remember relationships are not the fantasy of perfect bliss for eterntiy. They are a dynamic process that may have some low and high moments; they have their struggles and challenges. The key to keeping the relationship alive is to move through the problems and not let them take over your life and your love!

i wish i can have my second chance :(

My heart broke the day I realized loving you meant letting you go. :( :(

2011-09-13T19:52:00.000-07:00

I've been walked on, used and forgotten and I don't regret one moment of it because in those moments, I've learned a lot. I've learned who I can live and can't. I've learned the meaning of relationship. I've learned how to tell when people are lying and when they're sincere. I've learned how to be a human, and how to grow up when I need to. I've been to hell and back a few times, and I won't ever take what I have for granted. This is life, live it one day at a time. You never know how many days you've got left. People made some mistakes.it is up to his/her partner to accept or to leave it. Same goes with you. I understand my mistakes is unforgivable. And trust me, i wont do anything to betrayed our relationship. Memories made to be keep but i wish i can throw it away because memories keep playing in my mind like a videos without a sound. I wish i can get back to you but i know someone deserve your love more than i do. :(

p.s: take care. i will always love you. i will stop chasing the things i cant have. it hurts but i know you are the one who hurts a lot.

Leftovers

2011-08-22T19:04:00.000-07:00

We spent the whole night talking on the phone just wishing we could fall asleep in each others' arms. Wishing we could kiss each other goodnight and cuddle the air out of each other. I'd kiss you all over your face over and over again just to keep you awake so you'd stay up and talk to me.

We seem so strong now and I thank God, I finally have someone who treats me the way you do but my thoughts keep bringing me forward to the day where I will have to leave and you'll leave and we'll try to make it work but we both know we won't be able to make it. So I'll pray that when I come back home, you'll be waiting for me. Because I know I would do the same for you.

We both know this won't end but who said we can't hope that maybe someday, we will actually spend our days sitting by the beach with cokes in our hands and the night sky full of stars shining on us...

So Cry Me A Fucking River

2011-07-07T19:54:00.000-07:00

I could easily break your heart, let you go, make you cry.
I could easily make your heart bleed with pain and misery.
I could easily turn your life into a living hell and torture you inside and out.
I could simply tell you how worthless you really are and make your smiles never see the light of day ever again.
I can easily tell you the undying true story of how no one actually cares about you.
I can easily tell you your life's story of once upon a time and the end and explain in detail that you're nothing more that a piece of dirt stuck to the bottom of my very dirty heel.
I can simply show you how easy it is to find another you seeing it's easy finding a complete nobody.
I can easily shatter your hopes and dreams so finely you'd only pray to try and pick yourself up again.
I can easily lift your spirits up so high and let them go in a blink of an eye just to break them into tiny little miserable pieces.
I can easily jump start your life wires and pull the chords off the power source just to show how easy you are to ruin.
I can do so many things to you and i can easily break you so far down you won't want to get up.

But watching you fail all by yourself feels better.

Deep inside my heart, my modesty still on you.

For U ... I Will.

2011-07-07T19:46:00.000-07:00

I almost gave up on making something of myself.
My emotions and thoughts had no connection, no communication with each other.
I had troubles dealing with things harder than i could handle.
My beliefs were a haywire.
My life was just as complicated as the situation we were going through.

My hopes and desires went flying out the window like a paper plane.
I wasn't in the position of starting something new, i had so much to deal with.
Whether it was alone or whether it had to do with someone else, i wasn't in.
My mind, my soul just wasn't there.
I felt emptiness empowering my body inch by inch and i couldn't do anything to stop it.

My problems and my inner voice kept telling me things i didn't want to hear.
I would scream just to try and keep them silenced but nothing ever worked.
I had to try to overcome something so strong, something so evil.
I had to overcome myself.

In the most hardest of times, when i felt down and i didn't want to continue even when someone pulled me up from the ground, dust me off and pushed me my way, i didn't move an inch.
When i was falling deeper and deeper into the hole i created for my insecurities, pain and judgement, i couldn't flex a muscle.
The furthest i'd go for myself was when i blinked my eye to help my tears run easier.
Even my tears needed a push to run it's way down my cheek, and straight to the floor.

Don't take this the wrong way.
I never needed help from anyone and i didn't need it from you.
I was never the kind of person that wanted to be taken care of.
I was always the girl that held her head up high even when i felt lower than soil.
I am a fighter, a born get-goer.
I never needed butterflies to keep me afloat, nor fishes in the sea to keep me swimming.

Once upon a time, i felt like a nobody and paranoia came naturally to me.
But that was once upon a time.
And unlike a fairytale beginning, i won't end this with a fairytale ending.
I'll make my life a full one, i'll go crazy and let go.
I'll fulfill my dreams and create something more for myself.
I will climb my highest lows and get through everyday like a cross-country.
It will cut me, bruise me and try to bring me down, but i have my dignity and my will power and i will continue to keep going even if i had one last breath to breathe.

That's what you call fighting and i'll definitely be the last one standing.

Keep Breathing My Guardian Angel, If You Go Down I Go With You

2011-07-07T19:44:00.000-07:00

And as i wait for your return, i feel my organs slowly disintegrating forming into big piles of dust.

Your voice works as a lullaby therefore i can't sleep without it.

We are feeling the same things but it's me worrying more that one day you'll stop breathing.

Stay here for me. Stay here with me....

I WANT MY OTHER LIFE BACK. SAVE HIM.;(

2011-05-18T00:28:00.000-07:00

Too much obstruction...

its time for me to make a new step..

its for him to choose with his old life or keep on going for his future planning..we need to be selfish sometimes..

your destiny is gone and fade away by those OBSTRUCTION..

Allah..please show him the first objective that he want to do when he saw me for the first time..

Maybe i am babbling too much..maybe i am stringy his life..but i am the one who will make him choosing the correct path of his life.Insya-Allah.

tiada tajuk

2011-05-16T01:22:00.000-07:00

Lewat ini ku rasakan
Kasih kian ku dambakan
Resah hati yang ku pendam
Pada takdir dan harapan

Detik waktu dan suratan
Siapa tahu ketentuan
Ku mencari cahayanya
Dalam bayang kegelapan

Nasib hidup dan pilihan
Lain hukum setiap insan
Mengharapkan perjalanan
Dalam maya kesamaran

is it hard to understand?

2011-05-12T00:58:00.000-07:00

If you're too busy with your things
i'll understand...
if you dont have time for me
i'll understand...
if you're too busy with your friends
i'll understand...
if you're full with your past
i'll understand...
But if one day i stop loving you,
Now its YOUR time to understand..

interesting facts about girl

2011-05-03T19:25:00.000-07:00

The first thing that you should know is that every girl is different from others only in their appearance. Inside them, they all have the same nature of motherhood and protective influence which has evolved from the time man was born. While men set out to hunt, women stayed back and protected the nest. This is where these feelings and emotions originated from. Apart from that, you must also remember that every girl, each and every single one of them, just wants to feel special, especially in relationships. How you go about achieving this is really your problem. Keep these following things in mind though...;) :

Girls absolutely hate it when they are lied to. So if you must do so, ensure that you never ever get caught. Whether the lie is about her appearance, your compatibility, your ex-girlfriend or whatever, tread these waters with caution. For if you get caught, there will be no escape.

Girls always consider actions greater than words. Even if, they wont accept it. So if you really wish to impress her, or get off the hook for something, do something that shows her how you feel, rather than simply talking about it. aite?

One of the most interesting facts about girls is that they are all big drama queens. This may be something that is beyond your realm of understanding, but be patient and know that every girl will make a big deal about petty things. In their eyes this is not wrong, because they simply thrive on conflict.

Understand that girls are regular victims of PMS, and no matter how much we try to understand this, we never will. This is just the way it is, and the sooner we come to terms with this, the better it will be.

Get used to apologizing, because whether you did something wrong or not, you will always be the one apologizing. Girls love that, and they cannot stand guys who do not know how to apologize.Because we are human being..sorry are not the hardest words...come on...

Understand that girls are built differently, and they are absolutely not interested in fast cars and monster trucks and the like. This is one of the primary facts about girls every guy should know.

Girls are very self-conscious by nature, and the sooner you can accept that, the better. They will always look at themselves in front of the mirror because they can't help it. Do not deride them for this, or they will drop you like a hot potato. This guide to understanding women in relationships will also prove useful to you....!

A girl will always think she looks fat, no matter what. You have to comfort her and convince her otherwise. This goes hand in hand with their self-conscious nature so you better get used to it.

Never ever fool around with a friend or relative of a girl whom you're with. Girls love to talk about the randomest of things, so you will be caught sooner or later. The wonderfully named Mr. Woods couldn't escape this predicament, so how can you.
Speaking of which, girls love to gossip. This is the only way they can entertain themselves when they are together. Out of all the facts about girls that guys should know, this is probably the most well known already.

When it comes to gifts, something meaningful and thoughtful is far more important than its price. Sure, something expensive won't hurt, but girls are absolute suckers for mushy and thoughtful gifts. So get to work and start thinking of things that are important to her.

If you are out with your friends, she wants them to see how involved you'll are. She will kiss you in front of them, and make you feel like an embarrassed jelly bean. Your friends may laugh at you, but they're just jealous. Learn to reciprocate these feelings.
On the other hand, when you are out with her girlfriends, it's best to keep your hands to yourself. The last thing she wants is to feel tied down by you, and you need to act tactfully in such a situation.

Always remember all those damn dates and birthdays. This is important to them, and if you forget, your stock will plummet drastically. Store it in your phone, or stick your wall with post-its, but just remember them no matter what. Most guys are not aware about these facts on girls, and ultimately pay the price.

Lastly, always compliment her. One of the most interesting facts about girls is that they love being the center of attention, so what's holding you back. Comment on her hair, her eyes, her dress, her body and everything else that you can think of. The relationship advice for men and relationship advice for guys given here will also help you out.

So these were some of the facts about girls that guys don't know much about, but if you've been paying attention you have got the drift of it. It doesn't take much to understand these things, but putting them into practice is the tough bit. Girls are not that hard as you think..we are that easy...come on guys..

why women need attention?

2011-04-25T18:59:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder why women need attention? Do you find this emotional need frustrating? Does it seem silly?
There is a very strong evolutionary purpose for women needing attention. Perhaps if this need were better understood, couples would be more comfortable with it.
Some females (those who ended up having a better strategy), discovered that if they could mate with a male who would stay around, they would have protection, investment in their offspring, and even additional food.
But how does do primates, without written or oral language figure out who would stick around or not? They look for signs or clues.

The males who were attentive, and could show or express in some way their desire to stick around were the males the females would trust and with whom they would mate. Those males who did not show attention, were less likely to find a long term partner who would want to mate with them.

Females became highly instinctively sensitive to these attentiveness clues. If a male was attentive, she would mate with him. If he was not, she would not.

Today, we have language which can be used to express devotion and attention so men can verbally express their feelings and emotions. But the underlying need for attention and devotion is still operating in humans.

It is important to remember that there is a very clear and powerful instictual reason why women must feel important and loved in a relationship prior to engaging in physical intimacy.

Rather than fight women's instintive need for attention, why not submit to it. It will only improve the relationship!

source:jennifer jones. :)

from the bottoms of someone heart

2011-01-04T20:05:00.000-08:00

is it hard to respect your partner? i don't think so...people who appreciate their relationship will do anything for the love ones. am i rite? especially for the person who in love with a girl/guy, the only key to survive the relationship success to the wedding aisle are the RESPECT and try to APPRECIATE. That is the main key. But if they don't have that...i don't know what will happen next.

If you keep on with your ego attitude..hurm.. i do not know until when this relationship will survive. Dear God, I pray and keep my words to keep this relationship long lasting until the end of time. Please..please...please give me a lot of patience and tolerance..please..please...i need to survive through this things. I have my own plan..please Allah...make it happen.. Amin.

would u just listen....

2010-12-20T01:11:00.000-08:00

Would you just listen and please don't say a word, just yet,
I'd like you to think back to the very first time we met,
How you felt around me? The memories we shared,
And just remember that once upon a time, you really cared.
Would you just listen and please don't say a word, not ever,
I'd like you to remember that once upon a time, we said forever,
That I had hopes and dreams, that I was the one who threw them away,
And this is something I will always regret until my dying day.

pls dont break my heart .... its hurt..

2010-12-11T22:32:00.000-08:00

If two past lovers can remain friends, either they never were in love or they still are

wondering..

2010-10-26T19:24:00.000-07:00

im gettin older..huh..
my birthday is around the corner..im counting days...
im goin thru a hard and a joy days in every second of my life..
Thank you Allah for the health..family that always understand my situation..
My mr. muscle..you are my shelter...my friend..thank you for being my partner for life..
my friends...
and of course...what will i have on my birthday....jeng..jeng..jeng..
im wondering...what will happen to my life after 5 years...hurmmm...

2010-08-27T07:16:00.000-07:00

im scared too care too much,to miss too much, too feel that rush once more, to love again at the risk of getting hurt. but what i fear most is the thought of you leaving me, when i've already conquered those fears for you...:(

im like a shadow..im always here to accompany u every step of the way. but do u knw the difference between shadow and me? i'd still be here even there's no light to shine anymore..

no idea

2010-08-16T07:07:00.000-07:00

They say past is past. we need to move on to see the future.But how can we move on when our past is the only thing we ever wanted in the future...
miss you Mr. alone n lonely

ouh my home

2010-08-12T01:07:00.000-07:00

i just watched my lil' brother videos that i've recorded few months ago..
suddenly i miss my home...i mean my real home...!
i miss my family so bad...i wanna go home...
seriously....
i miss my mum...i want her hug...her warm hug that can make me fall asleep instantly...
i miss her cooked...sooo bad... :(
i wanna go home!!
i miss both of my brothers...ouhhh...tears coming out already...
my lil' sis...i miss you so bad bitch...!
miss the chit-chat before sleep..gossiping...
talking...heart to heart...ouhhh.... :'(
and...father...i miss you .. even though we are fighting...and not closed as the old time did...i miss you. i wish time will cure this relationship..
but...seriously i need my MOM...my home...i miss her so much...
i wanna go back......
actually i feel a bit jealous about my cousin..he can go back anytime he want without feels any worried about his financial or anything...lucky you man...

mom..wish you were here...
dont worry...im safe in here...
I MISS YOU...
:(

dont be so heartless

2010-08-11T11:29:00.000-07:00

its confusing actually...
*sigh*

its all about u..
try to GIVE & TAKE okay...

understand all around u..
ME..everything...

concern...
loving and lovable...
take care of each other feeling...

i bruise easily...so be gentle when u handle me...

but...i love you anyway..
***********

try to comfort my heart..
careful! it's FRAGILE!

its her talking too much..

2010-07-27T02:56:00.000-07:00

such a short time meeting my old friend..
she asking me why i didn't continue my study..
and i answer short n simple..i don't have anything to achieve...
and shes replying.. "I've got so many things that aren't complete! how come you have all things has been done! Crazy U!'
okay...listen..actually i have so many things to do rather than study...(sounds like i am a lazy person..urgghh..whatever!)
there are some personal stuff that i have to settle down...A LOT of personal stuff...
and she asking me again...'what are those??..more important than your study?'
i cant mention it right here..let it P&C..
after letting her know my personal stuff thingy...she ask me again last question before we end our conversation that night..'if you were given money...u don't want to continue ur study right...??(shes laughing)n that was the last thing you do before u die...on ur own...(sounds scary)what would u do...
and then...im taking out my cigarette...light it up...n say...
Crazy u....dont say like that...!u should say it was the beginning of ur life??!!
then we were laughing like hell...hahaha...
i will applying a scuba diving license ... urm...going to Maldives island....travelling around Europe..Make my family comfortable with their lives...thats all...
and then she's looking at me like seeing something scary..."is it??? only that....ughh...so simple...but sure nice n memorable..." bring me along okay...hahahaaha...*we both laughing*
THE END.

just filling up the empty spaces

2010-07-13T22:11:00.000-07:00

Just remember, the same as a spectacular Vogue magazine, remember that no matter how close you follow the jumps: Continued on page whatever. No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should have been paying attention. Well, get used to that feeling. That's how your whole life will feel some day. This is all practice. None of this matters. We're just warming up...:)

te quiero me amor

2010-07-01T03:12:00.000-07:00

I want a boy who will move the hair away from my eyes, and then kiss me. Who will hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous. A boy who will sing to me at random moments. Who lets me sleep on his chest.
I want a guy who will tell his family and friends all about me. Bring me porridge , soup n juice when I’m sick. I want a boy who is more goofy than romantic, but knows the right things to say at the right times.
I want a boy who will call me 3 times a day if he went away. A boy who will apologize for calling too much, and no matter how many times I tell him its okay, he’d still do it. A boy who will let me gossip to him and just smile and agree with everything I say.
A boy who will throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then jump on me and kiss me a million times. Who will bet kisses on who could beat who on at game. Who makes fun of me just to make me laugh. A boy who will kiss my neck, just to have a reason to tell me how much he loves my new perfume.
I want a boy who, at night, who will dance in his pajamas with me. A boy who will take pictures in photo booths with me, someone who will never turn down a trip to the lake and who will play tag on the beach with me. A boy who could sit with me on the kitchen floor and eat sandwiches. Who will kiss me in the pouring rain.
I want a boy who would try to teach me how to play the guitar, even if we just end up laughing at each other.
I want a boy who will run his fingers through my hair, share his lollipops with me, and get along with all of my friends. Someone who would never be afraid to say I love you in front of his friends and someone who would argue with me about silly things just to make up.
I want a boy who will take me to Target to just make fun of some of the stuff there. Someone who will kiss me at midnight on New Years and who will make funny faces at me when I’m on the phone.
I want a boy who will count stars with me and be friends with my family. I want a boy who will stay home with me on a Friday night just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket. Someone who will squirt water guns at me in the house after I’ve got him soaked.
I want a boy who looks me the eye and tell me something serious, that was also funny and make me promise not to laugh. A boy who could make me laugh like no one else can. I want a boy who will hold me closer than normal when I’m sick, and would play with my hair. But mostly I want a boy who is my best friend and will always be there for me. and hopefully its you my dear..

u are the only exception..

2010-06-21T03:17:00.000-07:00

hey yaa...
recently im updating my blog just for the sake of filling in my free time...
n today...
im all alone again..
he's going out on vacation...and for sure i'm all by myself for about a week...
hope he's doing fine on his way to the destination..
and coming back safely...
love you dear...

father..its for u.love you

2010-06-20T02:09:00.000-07:00

A little girl needs Daddy
For many, many things:
Like holding her high off the ground
Where the sunlight sings!
Like being the deep music
That tells her all is right
When she awakens frantic with
The terrors of the night.

Like being the great mountain
That rises in her heart
And shows her how she might get home
When all else falls apart.

Like giving her the love
That is her sea and air,
So diving deep or soaring high
She'll always find him there

i miss my dad...i think the last fathers day i celebrated with him it was 3 years ago..
i brought him a chocolate cake n make a surprise after i finish my work..
n the memorable thing was i brought it with my first salary when i was worked as a customer consultant for photo shop.
happy fathers day to all fathers in the whole universe.
nothing much to share..adios.

LOVE is just a word....or???

2010-04-18T01:33:00.001-07:00

Love is unpredictable Love is uncontainable
Love is reliable Love is infallible

Love is right Love is wrong
Love is weak Love is strong

Love is good Love is pure
Love is real Love is sure

Love is jealous Love is pain
Love is lost Love is gained

Love is naked Love is raw
Love is everything Love is all

Love is here Love is there
Love is beautiful Love is fair

Love is great Love is shit
Love is demanding Love is it....

for friend..

2010-04-18T01:24:00.001-07:00

Is someone that everyone needs
A friend
Is that special one
A friend
Is someone you tell EVERYTHING
A friend
Is someone you never lie to
A friend
Can be a boy or a girl
A friend
Is someone that is always their
A friend
Will always listen to you
A friend
Always has input to give
A friend
Will never leave you in the dust
A friend
Will help you through the thick and the thin
A friend
Will always stand by your side
A friend
Will never let you down
A friend
Is someone everyone needs
What would you do if you didnt have a friend?

story mory...my childhood

2010-04-18T01:17:00.000-07:00

My childhood was fun,
tough and exciting.
My childhood was one
where there wasn't much fighting.
This was my childhood.

My childhood was filled
with family and friends.
My childhood was filled
with love that tied up loose ends.
This was my childhood.

My childhood came
with a grandmother that cared.
When she left me
I remembered all the times we shared.
This was my childhood.

My childhood was filled
with classwork and homework.
My childhood was filled
with parents who hated work.
This was my childhood.

My childhood was filled
with fun in the hood,
and food that tasted like Camp bell's,
'Umm Umm Good! '
This was my childhood.

My childhood was filled
with tricycles and bicycles.
My childhood was filled
with Popsicle and Dill pickles.
This was my childhood.

My childhood was filled
with lots of happy holidays.
Holidays that aren't
just the same nowadays.
This was my childhood.

Now my childhood
has become nothing but memories,
But all the good times
will live on within me.
This was my childhood.

i really missed my childhood time.....

its been a while

2010-03-17T19:26:00.000-07:00

haaaaccchuuummm!!! wooo....very dusty in here..seems like someone very busy..hahaha... sorry...

rona roni makaroni hidup

2010-01-31T02:34:00.000-08:00

if i feel sad or happy..i feel like i want to let it out..or tell anybody. but sometimes you have to keep it or in other way...zipped your mouth off! this year makes me feel and think in a matured way..probably...urmm...yes! and for sure..im away from my family...i miss my family...;( mostly adolescent like me or my friends, when things get tangled up they will come to their family.example like when we have trouble with the money, or need some love to pampered up..FAMILY come first..for me? sitting here alone..dint come back home for almost a year..! me..myself actually jealous about the other friends..they going back home when weekend is coming...and me?! huh..got nothing to do with life..and most of my time watching the dvd that i already saw..watching movies at cinema alone...duhh..what a nightmare! i hate weekend actually.grrr...the end!

p.s: its nothing to do with the title actually...wahahaha...i hate weekend!

..n surprise!!!

2010-01-04T06:28:00.000-08:00

yesterday im checking my fees at via internet. im quite surprise because of the status! huh...pay already???which dato' paying my fees??nahh...hahaha joking! but unbelievable...i think almost 3 semester i pay it by myself...! urmmmm...curious..
THEN....m going to atm and checking my BIMB....what the fish!!! ive got my ptptn back! glad to see that...3 semester im using my own money to pay the fees...huh...and the other good thing is im goin to pay my other fees which is shwcse using that money...the rest...urmmm...let me think about it...hahaha...thank you Allah.. i dont need to work at night...;) duhh... 1 more thing...the rental for the house also...derr...settle oledy..unclee...jangan tagih2 ok...saye suda byr sewa!!!!!! after that m goin to makan with my classmate..hihihi...at nandos la...bcme 'orang kaya' 4 a while...;)

its new year baby!

2010-01-01T09:21:00.000-08:00

new year..hurmmm.....im doing nothing for new year...most of people will make AZAM for themselves..but for me...urm...such a waste...if i make it for myself...im not sure if i can make it happen. so my conclusion for this new year is...just pray...and follow with the flow...hahaha..but me..myself..i also have a target that need to be achieve...;) but i'll keep it in my mind...only me n the trust one knows...
okay..next topic bout this damn new year...
hahahahaha...
celebrate with my bestfriend...chill out at gloria jeans coffee...
* sipping ice chocolate with whipped cream -nyum!-
* chit chatting..girls talk....
* talk about the past....memoirs...
*with the tragic surroundings...OMG! many people at bukit bintang!
*and the worst part is when on my way to GJ...there was a guy i think(bangladesh) came to me and spray me with the foam spray! wtf ish...dh la shouting out loud HAPPY NEWWW YEARR!!! abah kau..so stupid...i already take a bath la matcha...what for ur spraying me with that annoying stuff..aiyoo...
-and the funniest part then my friend also kena..hahahahaha...;)

marathon movies alone

2010-01-01T08:53:00.000-08:00

what a crazy things! im watching movies alone..for me its normal watching movies alone. its not because i dont have partner or friends.YES i have..but..maybe they busy with their own bussiness its time to MYOB.rite? so i make decision to watch it alone. and the best part is i watch it on wednesday...the price is very cheap...m watching muallaf and alvin n the chipmunks 2. ok..heres the simple review from me for both movies :

muallaf......
urm...quite nice and interesting stories...forsure it has a lot of info about religion..either muslim nr katholic...
10/10 for muallaf!

chipmunks 2..
the best part of this stories are when they introduce the chippetes group! hahaha all of people at the cinema laughing...you know because of what? okay...most of the audience are chinese..so..if pronouns the chipettes into chinese language..haha meaning @#$@@$*&^?? hahahahaha..very funny...
second thing i love the most is just because of the beyonce song! single ladies..i love beyonce...and confirmly im among the fan of beyonce..hahaha..derrr!

1 year

2009-12-07T02:24:00.000-08:00

its been a long time i didnt updated this blog...but ive got many reason to close this up....hahahaha..first and major thing is just because of the internet connection. i did not pay my broadband bills. so..this is what ive got...second thing is....i am lazy person to update this thingy....third...im busy with my study and so on..fourth...i forgot bou this blog..hahaha(what ?? the reason) my life is going to be okay....normal....in good condition..hahaha..ape aku merepek ni...ok..im too tired to type....got time i will carry up this things....;) chaowwww..

thank you to my girls n boys...(reunion)

2009-01-18T22:31:00.000-08:00

thank u sebab buat aku happy sesangat..
apa yang kita buat tu x de lah salah sangat...
we juz wanna have fun..!!!!
bcoz of u all aku dpt lupa apa yang aku fikir skrg...
especially to my girls who always bside me...
thanx to fana, nita...luv u girls..!!!
x lupe buat jackie..miera..biar korang jarang ngan aku...tapi dh jmpe mcm owg gle dh..hahaha...
miera...my lessy mlm tu wahaha...mcm gyle kat stage..
4 my boys!!!!u ol rawx!!!!!
thanx to my fathir 4 supportin the event..
my ja'a...ko happening gileww...mmg best sgt2...
thanx to lan...even we r not closed mcm dulu2...urrmmm...
yottt.....shuffle gelabah..hehehehe....
karl..tuan rmh..weheeee..mabuk dh mcm terencat dh...
x lupe wat 2nd driver...kwn ja'a(x ingat nme dh...)
rsenyeww tu je lah kot..
sesape yg x de mlm tu mmg rugi gi...lewwwww...
mmg best gle...luv all my bff...
i will miss dat time...

amazing grace

2008-11-16T11:40:00.000-08:00

while doing the last work.....i heard song amazing grace...feel peacefully...
i love this song so much. it makes me forget my problems for a while...
here's the lyrics...i guarantee for sure you will feel secure and calm when hear this song..especially for whom has a problem...

Leann Rimes Amazing Grace Lyrics:

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I'm found.
'Twas blind, but now I see.
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved.
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.
When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Then when we first begun.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I'm found.
Was blind, but now I see.

LIFE..MESS

2008-11-01T20:39:00.000-07:00

hidup memang macam sial. semuanya memang sial. aku x tau apa yang aku nak tulis. tapi aku memang x puas hati ngan hidup aku. bukan pasal aset atau kewangan. yang tu aku x kisah sangat. tapi sebab ....aku pun x tau. orang pun x puas hati ngan aku. aku nak buat apa. hari2 esok pun mesti sama. life doesnt mean a thing for me..sucks! everything ruine my life..life...life...life....

appreciate me

2008-09-15T10:35:00.000-07:00

Mommy...
today i am 4 months old..
i have toes and i am a girl mommy..please dont be sad..
Mommy.. what is that doctor saying mommy? what is an abortion?
Mommy i love you. Mommy i can fall asleep to your heartbeat..
Mommy..what is that liquid mommy?
it makes my heartbeat slower and slower....
mommy i feel pain..!!
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Mommy....do you love me??
Mommy i am now in heaven mommy...save in God hands..
Now i am understand what an abortion is..God told me that..
Mommy why didn't you want me? Why don't you love me?
Mommy why can't I ever see the light of day?
Mommy I still love you..
Mommy God will take care of me now and I will be loved
Mommy today is my birthday..
I am 5 years old now and I still don't understand why you didn't want me mommy..
Mommy! You came to see me Mommy!
Mommy what happened to you? You don't know your little girl anymore mommy?
You don't love me Mommy? Why did I have to die Mommy?