wondering..

im gettin older..huh..
my birthday is around the corner..im counting days...
im goin thru a hard and a joy days in every second of my life..
Thank you Allah for the health..family that always understand my situation..
My mr. muscle..you are my shelter...my friend..thank you for being my partner for life..
my friends...
and of course...what will i have on my birthday....jeng..jeng..jeng..
im wondering...what will happen to my life after 5 years...hurmmm...

im scared too care too much,to miss too much, too feel that rush once more, to love again at the risk of getting hurt. but what i fear most is the thought of you leaving me, when i've already conquered those fears for you...:(

im like a shadow..im always here to accompany u every step of the way. but do u knw the difference between shadow and me? i'd still be here even there's no light to shine anymore..

no idea

They say past is past. we need to move on to see the future.But how can we move on when our past is the only thing we ever wanted in the future...
miss you Mr. alone n lonely

ouh my home

i just watched my lil' brother videos that i've recorded few months ago..
suddenly i miss my home...i mean my real home...!
i miss my family so bad...i wanna go home...
seriously....
i miss my mum...i want her hug...her warm hug that can make me fall asleep instantly...
i miss her cooked...sooo bad... :(
i wanna go home!!
i miss both of my brothers...ouhhh...tears coming out already...
my lil' sis...i miss you so bad bitch...!
miss the chit-chat before sleep..gossiping...
talking...heart to heart...ouhhh.... :'(
and...father...i miss you .. even though we are fighting...and not closed as the old time did...i miss you. i wish time will cure this relationship..
but...seriously i need my MOM...my home...i miss her so much...
i wanna go back......
actually i feel a bit jealous about my cousin..he can go back anytime he want without feels any worried about his financial or anything...lucky you man...

mom..wish you were here...
dont worry...im safe in here...
I MISS YOU...
:(

dont be so heartless

its confusing actually...
*sigh*

its all about u..
try to GIVE & TAKE okay...

understand all around u..
ME..everything...

concern...
loving and lovable...
take care of each other feeling...

i bruise easily...so be gentle when u handle me...

but...i love you anyway..
***********

try to comfort my heart..
careful! it's FRAGILE!

its her talking too much..

such a short time meeting my old friend..
she asking me why i didn't continue my study..
and i answer short n simple..i don't have anything to achieve...
and shes replying.. "I've got so many things that aren't complete! how come you have all things has been done! Crazy U!'
okay...listen..actually i have so many things to do rather than study...(sounds like i am a lazy person..urgghh..whatever!)
there are some personal stuff that i have to settle down...A LOT of personal stuff...
and she asking me again...'what are those??..more important than your study?'
i cant mention it right here..let it P&C..
after letting her know my personal stuff thingy...she ask me again last question before we end our conversation that night..'if you were given money...u don't want to continue ur study right...??(shes laughing)n that was the last thing you do before u die...on ur own...(sounds scary)what would u do...
and then...im taking out my cigarette...light it up...n say...
Crazy u....dont say like that...!u should say it was the beginning of ur life??!!
then we were laughing like hell...hahaha...
i will applying a scuba diving license ... urm...going to Maldives island....travelling around Europe..Make my family comfortable with their lives...thats all...
and then she's looking at me like seeing something scary..."is it??? only that....ughh...so simple...but sure nice n memorable..." bring me along okay...hahahaaha...*we both laughing*
THE END.

just filling up the empty spaces

Just remember, the same as a spectacular Vogue magazine, remember that no matter how close you follow the jumps: Continued on page whatever. No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should have been paying attention. Well, get used to that feeling. That's how your whole life will feel some day. This is all practice. None of this matters. We're just warming up...:)