Thursday, December 29, 2011

Just saying..

i cant give you a branded things just like her did...

i cant give you a perfect conversation like her did...

i cant cheer you up like her did...

but..i only can give you my heart...

i am sorry. im not perfect...

but i always put on effort on something i did..

I'm just saying...

how i wish i can be like her...

give whatever you want...

i am not jealous... i'm dispirited

Monday, December 19, 2011

"May the new year gives you a taste of common sense so that you never make resolutions again"

2011 are about to take a bow...


2011 just nice.

financial- not so perfect..But Alhamdulillah im not dying for food or shelter

Life- Standard for homosapiens :D :l :( :) ;p

Overall 2011 keep making me stronger. I am a weaker. LOL.

Eventhough no vacation on 2011, i still can handle myself or else err..

2011 full of laughter, sadness, madness, greatness, gloomness, happiness, romance errrrr....

i forgive...i know i dont easily forget.but i am trying. :) i'm not that evil and bitch as people thought...:)

And for sure is a good chance to make a big steps towards myself. Hope i will find my true soulmate. And that person will guide me towards happiness and full of romance!

To person that i care, May throughout 2012 you adorn the most beautiful attire called "Smile" .. cuz i cant live with those messy frown!

packing up all 2011!

Well, with full embrace you are most welcome 2012. Cant wait for it .

With Love,

Miss M

Thursday, December 1, 2011

who will be the FUTURE?

no one can tell.

smile like the world never ends..

dance like nobody watching....


destiny cant be changed...

But..who knew..

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Dear Above

Dear above,

I will always pray for everyone..







Please throw away my sense of arrogant, demonic, greedy, my bad side dear above..

Ordinary people want ordinary life.

No one can promise a good happy life nor the perfect one.

Throw away dishonest behavior. Fraudulent is not good at all.

Dear above,

i'm grateful for what i have

Guide me to your path..

there's some crack in my faith..i am just a little creature dear above...

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Thats Her

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep… wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in track pants, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU… The one who turns to his friends and says, “thats her”….”

Monday, November 7, 2011

The Sun is Shining Back

I love when it is a word of simple life you apply in your life. A small attention would probably make someone you like being lovable to you.

Your warm embrace make her feel safe and secure again.

Your smile, tell her that you are happy again and you get what she was trying to tell you before.

Your kindness make her fall for you again. A little appreciation to your little angel make a big ones in her heart.

She is keep holding on because of the above signs that her guardian angel are back.

Is it going to be last?

Beautiful Metaphoric

Can I?

make you smile?

make you laugh?

make you happy?

accept your flaws?

love you?

grow old with you?

have fun with you?

understand you?

be there when you have a hard time?

make you breakfast?

be there when you get home?

can I / you ?


Saturday, November 5, 2011

Touchable lullaby

As I were asleep. I heard 'takbir' out from nowhere and I realize its Eid Adha . I miss my family . I just wanna go home. I miss my real family. I don't have any family in here. I cry ..because I am a loner..I wish I have my family in here .

Monday, October 31, 2011


Hello new life..maybe it is not the end of you little angel..keep on walking if you cant fly..keep on crawling if you cant walk. Face this big world in a small body of you. Keep on breathing. There might be a shiny light focus for you if you are hoping for it. head up, chin up little angel. Plan your day as usual. Find a little happiness from a true friends. Have fun with life,go out travel, don't ever fall in love with guy. It hurts you so bad little angel. Fly alone maybe risky for you but it is better than to have someone beside you, one is simple. Never ever fall in love little angel. That is lesson you get, first and last. You cant rewind it and fix it. Remember little angel, life is too grudge to you to handle. Your no longer little angel, you are angel on your own.


Life become dull again and again. I am loner now. It is November. And November i was hoping for a happiness. But will my wish granted? who knew. Yeah.. i demand for a healthy good life. But it is sounds like mission impossible to me. I can't make it . And now i am falling..again and again . Once i stop care about person called GUY .

I wish my life was like a Hollywood movie though as P.S I Love you but life is ain't that easy to forget someone you love.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Shout out from Little Angel

I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care. I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are and what you do. I'm sorry, I can't help it, I'm so in love with you.

I know I shouldn't like him because I know it's not working and so I convince myself I don't. I see him and he'll put his arm around me or just say anything and then, all that logic and convincing, just evaporates.

It hurts to breathe, because evry breath I take proves that I can live without you.

I guess when your heart gets broken, you begin to see the cracks in everything.

Falling for someone at the first time is's the second time, after you have fallen and trusted someone to catch you and they didn't...when it becomes difficult to fall again.

I could fill a thousand pages telling you how I felt and still you would understand. So now I leave you without a sound, except my heart shattering as it hits the ground.

How does a heart work if it's broke?

I never stopped loving you, I just stopped letting it show.

I keep myself busy with things to do, but everytime I pause, I still think of you.

I wish he meant it when he kissed my lips, because then I could look back and remember someone loved me, instead I can only look back and remember someone used me.

Hearts will never be made practical until they can be made unbreakable.

Sometimes I wish I was a little kid again, skinned knees are easier to fix rather then broken hearts.

Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to be sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries, avoid all entanglements, lock it up safe in the casket of your selfishness, but in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken, it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

Love, the perfect virture, is often refused to the teenager. "They don't know what love is." We do. Every teenager knows how much they loved by how deeply they hurt when the relationship is over.

I'll always love him. He carved out his piece of me that I can never get back and even if I could, it wouldn't matter because he has torn it to shreds. So now there's this hole that only he can fill. The thing is, I know he'll never ever fill it, because now he's off with some other things and he forgot the way back into my heart. If only he'd call and ask for directions.

My once upon a time, didn't end happily ever after,

I thought I forgot you, but I guess I forgot to.

I never knew it hurt so much to lose something I never had.

Sometimes you just have to hold your head up high, try not to cry, and say goodbye.

The sky isn't always blue, the sun doesn't always shine, it's alright to fall apart sometimes.

All they do is break your heart and I'm not sure I have a heart left to break.

I'm only happy when it rains.

All i want is to be in love. I dream of falling asleep in the arms of guardian angel and waking up to complete happiness and utter bliss, why can't I have that?

Tell me how long till I'm not just dreaming, how long till somebody cares, how long till I meet my guardian angel? Tell me how long till I fall in love?

I know I should find someone new, but all I find is myself thinking of you.

I never felt love until I loved you. I never felt hurt until I was hurt by you. I never had a dream until that dream was you. I never felt loss until the day I lost you. Yet I don't want you back. I don't need you here. I don't miss you at're just the best thing that I ever had.

Perhaps you'd be a bit surprised how often, if you knew, a joke, a song, a memory will make me think of you.

How come whenever I think I'm over you, you talk to me and make me feel like I'm the most loved person in the world. And I realize I still love you nd I can't or won't get over you.

I'm not the kind of girl who thinks a guys is the answer to everything...I'm just tired of being alone.

I yearn for a love that won't burn me in the end.

One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart you can't utter from your mouth.

I've been broken before, I know what it's like to see something funny and not laugh.

You met me. You introduced yourself to me. You were a friend to me. You grew fond of me. You grew to appreciate me. You liked me. You asked me. I answered. You held me. You touched me. You needed me. You wanted me. You loved me. You grew tired of me. You felt trapped by me. You lied to me. You cheated on me. You hurt me. You left me.

It's kinda hard to go out with someone, when you know, deep down, you're still in love with someone else. Its really tough and i cant imagine how am i to falling in love with another person again and again.

Tears are words the heart can't say.

We came to be underneath the stars above, what started out as liking quickly turned to love. I sensed a certain something, that mine was true, I knew I waited my enitre life to fall in love with someone like you.

They say that it is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all, but what do they say when you are still in love with the love you lost?

If it's true that love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear. Why did we get out of order. My tears came before your kiss that I am still waiting for.

I'll have another chance, I'll find another guy, I'll see another day and I'll build another world and I'll find another life, just like you told me to, I'll find another love, but there will never be...another you.

Crushes you get over and the tears go away, but loving you is different, the treats will always stay.

You see my soul, it's kind of gray. You see my heart, you look away. You see my wrist, I feel your pain. You know my cheeks aren't just wet from the rain.

Sticks and stones may break my bones and rip my skin apart, but no one has hurt me like you, you really broke my heart.

Words cannot fully express the extent of my love for him. But if you saw the way I cried when he left me, then perhaps you'd understand.

Now I know I have a heart because I can feel it breaking.

I sit alone and cry. It is my destiny to be the queen of pain.

Between my love and agony, my thoughts converge to you.

I never understood why people thought loved sucked, until I met you.

It's easy to convince yourself that you aren't in love with someone, until you see them or smell someone wearing their cologne, and then you're like, 'here we go again.' So my conclusion is this: you don't ever stop loving someone.It's more a matter of learning to deal with the pain of not having them anymore.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

i wont feel better until it stop..I cant feel you anymore!

I still can feel it. Be sure to change your life ~because i am getting tired and bored. Do i have to mention what is your problem?i don't think so. You know what is going on. I keep silent because i hate fight. I hate arguing. So i just leave you with your kind of situation. I am happy with my life now even though i have nothing. My life become clean. i can do it...why not you ? it makes me feel i am on my way to hate you. You still have a lot of peeps who will take care of you and destroying your day. But all of this thing start within voice deep inside your heart, if it is bring you into wrong path,then its up to you to decide. They say love can change a person..but not you. Hard as stone,but think back when that stone hit you back. Feel any better? Well peeps can heal it right?! boohoo! .

Pray for your happiness. Hope you will change someday.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

You never realize what you have until its gone

That title is what my housemate told me last 2 days. She is going back to her hometown and never came back here again. Thank God, she has a supportive family who always support her in whatever she does. Love make her sick. She is independent yet cheerful girl but when came in love situation she became so weak and sick. Struggle to get a new life is hard but it is better for her to moved on. But its normal...'You never realize what you have until its gone'
That words she gave to the person who once was take her heart and melt her into a soft person. But then soft things can become hard like a rock once it left to and abandoned. And that hard things will hit you back. Am i going to be like her? I am not strong anymore. I just have faith..if there is no faith i will end up like her. Start from now, i wont take care of other feelings, i just concern on mine. Maybe its sounds a bit selfish, but who else going to take care of your own feeling. I am tired to taking a good care of other person feeling while they don't give a damn about it. My patience is way too low already. Sorry. I am too much swallowing what you have gave to me. Bitter or sweet. My bad..keep on silent and keep holding on.
Okay back to reality~!!

I and others will feel gloom without her..our stylista sister. I will miss you. Thanks for the dress!

Making the other happy

Life are always incomplete.When you are happy everything is alright.But when it become a darkest day of your life everything will be feel unacceptable and ignorance. How was it feels when karma hits you back? I feel in my life, no everyone understands me, and I don't understand all people too. I think it is normal. Sometimes I have a problem with the other, maybe I make or the other makes. I don't think to judge that someone is good or bad, because everyone changes and changes. I can't say that in one life, one person will not make a mistake. Everyone can do it.

Not all people are happy in their life, some are happy and some are not happy. Some pass the life with sad, he doesn't have good friend, he is poor, he is ugly, he is difficult, he don't have good skills because he doesn't have a chance to be better. He feels that life is very difficult for him. I don't agree that everyone can make lucky in their life. Some people can't get the lucky, even he has worked hard. I don't want to abuse him, don't want to give so many reasons. Life is life.

Everyone wants to be happy including me. Everyone wants to be a cinderella, a person's life changes in one night. Everyone hopes to have a beautiful life, have good friends, be lucky and never suffered.

I want to be happy, the other wants to be happy too. I want to make someone happy because when he is happy I become happy too. Like as a case. A poor and ugly woman, she wants to get married, but she and her boyfriend don't have money. If an angel comes to her, gives her a beauty and money, she will be very happy. She will feel very lucky and she pass her marriage happily. Like as flowers blossoms in the park.

I want that someone changes in his life. I don't want that someone is sad in his life because sadness make life much more difficult.

Flowers blossom in the park. When the park is arid, the park is very ugly. When the flowers blossom, everyone can see red, yellow, white, purple, blue and the other colors. It is really beautiful.Yes,it is...

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Life is too short to hold a grudge..also too long

I wish I could believe you then I'll be alright
But now everything you told me really don't apply
To the way I feel inside
Loving you was easy once upon a time..
But now my suspicions of you have multiplied
And it's all because you lied

I only give you a hard time...
Cause I cant go on and pretend like
I haven't tried to forget this
But I'm much too full of resentment

Just can't seem to get over the way you hurt me
Don't know how you gave another who didn't mean a thing, no
With everything you gave to me
I thought I could forgive you and I know you've changed
As much as I wanna trust you I know it ain't the same

I only give you a hard time...
Cause I cant go on and pretend like
I haven't tried to forget this
But I'm much too full of resentment

I may never understand why
I'm doing the best that I can and I
I tried and I tried to forget this
I'm much too full of resentment

I'll always remember feeling like I was NO GOOD
Like I couldn't do it for you like your mistress could

Loved you more than ever
More than my own life
The best part of me I gave you
Lived with Sacrifice
And it's all because I ...huh.

I only give you a hard time
Cause I cant go on and pretend like
I tried and I tried to forget this
But I'm too damn full of resentment

I know she was attractive but I was here first
Been ridin' with you for a years why did I deserve
To be treated this way by you, you
I know your probably thinking what's up with me
I been crying for too long what did you do to me
I used to be so strong but now you took my soul
I'm crying cant stop crying cant stop crying
You could of told me that you wasn't happy
I know you didn't wanna hurt me
But look what you done-done to me now
I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she's half of me
How could you...

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


This patience is killing me inside slowly..

i cant stop thinking about it.

i am so in pain due to this matters.

i cant take it anymore..

i can smell lies miles away from here..

Love song cannot cure this hurts so much.

Help..let me go. This is so bad...really bad..

I try to make it clean and legal. Back to the way it was...But i just cant...negative aura linger around.

i just cant get through this anymore... atleast i am trying. I AM TRYING SO HARD. indeed.

Maybe i am not the one who can enjoy bad things with you.because i am normal.

I want a normal life for God sake. ;/

All at once i will stop care about you. I will..arghh..I try. (i know i just cant..but i try and i will.)

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow”

I try to be strong and face all my day without feel any sadness and regret. I am trying...

Lord, forgive all my sins.. Give me happiness..

Lord, give me a good health to make people around me happy on what i am doing..

Lord, prosperity are not easy to earn..but Lord, make me strong and courageous.


Thursday, September 29, 2011

How to make your man feel loved? I wish one day...;)

This is how I will do to the one i love. Sounds funny but i don't know how to explain it. Just go through it and you will know. enjoy!

Jump up and greet him warmly when he gets home..

When you've had a long day and you're finally stretched out on the couch watching your favourite TV series when you hear your man arriving home. Resist the urge to send out a muffled "hi honey" from underneath the throw - instead get up to meet him at the door with a smile and a kiss. He'll feel like he's #1 in your world! Turning your full attention to him also helps the two of you re-connect after a day apart, and sets the stage for a great evening together.How sweet is that? :p

Fix his favorite yummy homemade breakfast.;)

There's some truth to the old saying "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach"! Try this on a weekend morning when neither of you feels too rushed. Fix nasi lemak, pancake, scrambled egg or whatever your man loves best...then sit down next to him and take your time eating together and talking. He'll love it that you made the effort to prepare a special meal for him. He's so lucky to be with a domestic queen like you!(Yeah rite...haha..but its true!)

Plan a night out and take him to a movie you know he'd enjoy.

You get extra points if he knows it's not one you'd normally pick (note: it's totally okay to close your eyes during the violent parts.) It's a great boost for a man's ego to walk into a guy movie with you by his side. If you keep an upbeat demeanor and just enjoy the fact that you're giving your man a truly enjoyable night out, he'll feel like the luckiest man alive. Like myself, i don't really into violent genre,but anything to pleased my man surely you have to!

Express appreciation.

I'm sure you thank your man on those occasions when he does something that strikes you as particularly thoughtful and sweet - but you can make him feel loved any day by simply noticing the small kindnesses that often go overlooked. If your man opens the door for you, takes the trash out, opens a tight lid, or fixes the drain, take the opportunity to let him know you appreciate him. A warm smile and a quick word of thanks will remind him that he's admired and valued just for who he is. Who wouldn't love that?

And for man: come on, show some love. Loving someone but not telling and not showing, is like wrapping a gift without giving it. ;)

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Tolerant and pleased.

Ya Allah,

Am i doing right? How am i supposed to express everything out ? i have tried my best to rebuilt back.

Ya Allah,

Help me. I am not the strongest nor the weakest one..but i want to make it happen .. To your path Ya Allah.

Ya Allah,

I am so bless with the chance that given. Ya Allah please help me go throughout this things.

Ya Allah,

I have no revenge to anyone.But please make this heart soft and being forgiving Ya Allah.

Amin . Amin . Amin .

its been a sad gloomy day for me.but i know..everything that happen will make me realized someday..all kind of things in this world were not mine. i have to accept it for better or worst. only the almighty knows.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I Mean It.

Ten simple ways to fall in love...again:

1. Enjoy memories
We know that our emotions are connected to thoughts, so when we reflect on good, happy memories we recreate the emotions and feelings in our body/mind that went along with the experience. Our great feelings are associated with those we shared the experiences, so while we don't want to live in the past, enjoying our memories together is a simple way to enjoy our partners.

2. Plan for the future and share your dreams
Having something to look forward to is one of the keys to living a happy life. We humans seem to need goals, dreams, hope, and a purpose. Without them we tend to get stuck; life may seem boring or purposeless. When we share our dreams, work toward our goals and envision a future with our partner, we tend to work toward this future. Again, this doesn't mean we don't live in the present and enjoy the moment, it just means we hold our dreams in our hearts.

3. Live in the present
Of course this comes next. Enjoy the moment. Take each second of beauty and expand it, bask in it, allow it to fill your soul. Don't let even one minute of joy, laughter, or pleasure be taken for granted. Allow yourself to treasure the time you have with your partner; look for those moments of quiet peace, or vibrant joy, or wild excitement. If they are few and far between, make more of them!

4. Demonstrate appreciation
Show your partner you care. Tell your spouse you love him. Do everything you can to make sure your beloved knows (doesn't have to guess), that you adore and cherish her. Don't assume they know and don't think that because you mentioned it a few years ago they remember.

5. Look for the good in your partner
Remember when you first met? You saw nothing wrong with your significant other. She was fabulous; he was perfect. Of course in time we tend to see a little more of each other and that impression may fade just a tad so consciously find (not just look) for the great qualities and traits of your mate. Don't just come up with a thing or two, how about write down a hundred wonderful things about your partner, then share it!

6. Engage in new activities
Humans tend to thrive on new experiences. There is something innate in us where we want to learn, grow, and expand our knowledge, understanding, or talents. It seems to me that we often get into ruts with our partners, doing the same things over and over again when one of the great ways to get out of the rut and to put some vibrancy into the relationship is to get out and do something new. Try something really unusual, or out of the ordinary for a change!

7. Have lots of fun
It is so much to laugh together. I'm thinking it is nearly impossible to not love those who make us laugh and those whose days we can brighten. Lighten up, find the humor in everything, and have lots of fun.

8. Work on projects together
Be a team! Find something that you and your partner can create together. When a couple is working in unison to bring forth something beneficial to their family, their neighborhood, their community, the world, or even animals, they can create a bond that is incredibly powerful. When working toward an important goal, we tend to see the greatness in each other, find ways to support one another, and have a deeper sense of the importance and strength of the relationship.

9. Remember what is truly important in life
Think about what is important in the long term, not what will give you a moment of pleasure. Reflect on how you want your life to be remembered when you are ninety years old. Ponder what you truly value in life. Remind yourself of your core personal values or morals. It might be that you move from wanting more excitement in your life right now to holding a desire for true and lifelong devotion and love.

10. Give attention and support your beloved
It sounds strange but we know that the more we give, care, or serve another the more we love them; NOT the more they love us but the more we love them. We love those to whom we give love and care and attention and service. The more you give the more you love. Cool!

Don't give up. So long as you believe the relationship is worth saving, so long as you want the relationship to be healed I hold it as possible. Remember relationships are not the fantasy of perfect bliss for eterntiy. They are a dynamic process that may have some low and high moments; they have their struggles and challenges. The key to keeping the relationship alive is to move through the problems and not let them take over your life and your love!

i wish i can have my second chance :(

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

My heart broke the day I realized loving you meant letting you go. :( :(

I've been walked on, used and forgotten and I don't regret one moment of it because in those moments, I've learned a lot. I've learned who I can live and can't. I've learned the meaning of relationship. I've learned how to tell when people are lying and when they're sincere. I've learned how to be a human, and how to grow up when I need to. I've been to hell and back a few times, and I won't ever take what I have for granted. This is life, live it one day at a time. You never know how many days you've got left. People made some is up to his/her partner to accept or to leave it. Same goes with you. I understand my mistakes is unforgivable. And trust me, i wont do anything to betrayed our relationship. Memories made to be keep but i wish i can throw it away because memories keep playing in my mind like a videos without a sound. I wish i can get back to you but i know someone deserve your love more than i do. :(

p.s: take care. i will always love you. i will stop chasing the things i cant have. it hurts but i know you are the one who hurts a lot.

Monday, August 22, 2011


We spent the whole night talking on the phone just wishing we could fall asleep in each others' arms. Wishing we could kiss each other goodnight and cuddle the air out of each other. I'd kiss you all over your face over and over again just to keep you awake so you'd stay up and talk to me.

We seem so strong now and I thank God, I finally have someone who treats me the way you do but my thoughts keep bringing me forward to the day where I will have to leave and you'll leave and we'll try to make it work but we both know we won't be able to make it. So I'll pray that when I come back home, you'll be waiting for me. Because I know I would do the same for you.

We both know this won't end but who said we can't hope that maybe someday, we will actually spend our days sitting by the beach with cokes in our hands and the night sky full of stars shining on us...

Thursday, July 7, 2011

So Cry Me A Fucking River

I could easily break your heart, let you go, make you cry.
I could easily make your heart bleed with pain and misery.
I could easily turn your life into a living hell and torture you inside and out.
I could simply tell you how worthless you really are and make your smiles never see the light of day ever again.
I can easily tell you the undying true story of how no one actually cares about you.
I can easily tell you your life's story of once upon a time and the end and explain in detail that you're nothing more that a piece of dirt stuck to the bottom of my very dirty heel.
I can simply show you how easy it is to find another you seeing it's easy finding a complete nobody.
I can easily shatter your hopes and dreams so finely you'd only pray to try and pick yourself up again.
I can easily lift your spirits up so high and let them go in a blink of an eye just to break them into tiny little miserable pieces.
I can easily jump start your life wires and pull the chords off the power source just to show how easy you are to ruin.
I can do so many things to you and i can easily break you so far down you won't want to get up.

But watching you fail all by yourself feels better.

Deep inside my heart, my modesty still on you.

For U ... I Will.

I almost gave up on making something of myself.
My emotions and thoughts had no connection, no communication with each other.
I had troubles dealing with things harder than i could handle.
My beliefs were a haywire.
My life was just as complicated as the situation we were going through.

My hopes and desires went flying out the window like a paper plane.
I wasn't in the position of starting something new, i had so much to deal with.
Whether it was alone or whether it had to do with someone else, i wasn't in.
My mind, my soul just wasn't there.
I felt emptiness empowering my body inch by inch and i couldn't do anything to stop it.

My problems and my inner voice kept telling me things i didn't want to hear.
I would scream just to try and keep them silenced but nothing ever worked.
I had to try to overcome something so strong, something so evil.
I had to overcome myself.

In the most hardest of times, when i felt down and i didn't want to continue even when someone pulled me up from the ground, dust me off and pushed me my way, i didn't move an inch.
When i was falling deeper and deeper into the hole i created for my insecurities, pain and judgement, i couldn't flex a muscle.
The furthest i'd go for myself was when i blinked my eye to help my tears run easier.
Even my tears needed a push to run it's way down my cheek, and straight to the floor.

Don't take this the wrong way.
I never needed help from anyone and i didn't need it from you.
I was never the kind of person that wanted to be taken care of.
I was always the girl that held her head up high even when i felt lower than soil.
I am a fighter, a born get-goer.
I never needed butterflies to keep me afloat, nor fishes in the sea to keep me swimming.

Once upon a time, i felt like a nobody and paranoia came naturally to me.
But that was once upon a time.
And unlike a fairytale beginning, i won't end this with a fairytale ending.
I'll make my life a full one, i'll go crazy and let go.
I'll fulfill my dreams and create something more for myself.
I will climb my highest lows and get through everyday like a cross-country.
It will cut me, bruise me and try to bring me down, but i have my dignity and my will power and i will continue to keep going even if i had one last breath to breathe.

That's what you call fighting and i'll definitely be the last one standing.

Keep Breathing My Guardian Angel, If You Go Down I Go With You

And as i wait for your return, i feel my organs slowly disintegrating forming into big piles of dust.

Your voice works as a lullaby therefore i can't sleep without it.

We are feeling the same things but it's me worrying more that one day you'll stop breathing.

Stay here for me. Stay here with me....

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


Too much obstruction...

its time for me to make a new step..

its for him to choose with his old life or keep on going for his future planning..we need to be selfish sometimes..

your destiny is gone and fade away by those OBSTRUCTION..

Allah..please show him the first objective that he want to do when he saw me for the first time..

Maybe i am babbling too much..maybe i am stringy his life..but i am the one who will make him choosing the correct path of his life.Insya-Allah.

Monday, May 16, 2011

tiada tajuk

Lewat ini ku rasakan
Kasih kian ku dambakan
Resah hati yang ku pendam
Pada takdir dan harapan

Detik waktu dan suratan
Siapa tahu ketentuan
Ku mencari cahayanya
Dalam bayang kegelapan

Nasib hidup dan pilihan
Lain hukum setiap insan
Mengharapkan perjalanan
Dalam maya kesamaran

Thursday, May 12, 2011

is it hard to understand?

If you're too busy with your things
i'll understand...
if you dont have time for me
i'll understand...
if you're too busy with your friends
i'll understand...
if you're full with your past
i'll understand...
But if one day i stop loving you,
Now its YOUR time to understand..

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

interesting facts about girl

The first thing that you should know is that every girl is different from others only in their appearance. Inside them, they all have the same nature of motherhood and protective influence which has evolved from the time man was born. While men set out to hunt, women stayed back and protected the nest. This is where these feelings and emotions originated from. Apart from that, you must also remember that every girl, each and every single one of them, just wants to feel special, especially in relationships. How you go about achieving this is really your problem. Keep these following things in mind though...;) :

Girls absolutely hate it when they are lied to. So if you must do so, ensure that you never ever get caught. Whether the lie is about her appearance, your compatibility, your ex-girlfriend or whatever, tread these waters with caution. For if you get caught, there will be no escape.

Girls always consider actions greater than words. Even if, they wont accept it. So if you really wish to impress her, or get off the hook for something, do something that shows her how you feel, rather than simply talking about it. aite?

One of the most interesting facts about girls is that they are all big drama queens. This may be something that is beyond your realm of understanding, but be patient and know that every girl will make a big deal about petty things. In their eyes this is not wrong, because they simply thrive on conflict.

Understand that girls are regular victims of PMS, and no matter how much we try to understand this, we never will. This is just the way it is, and the sooner we come to terms with this, the better it will be.

Get used to apologizing, because whether you did something wrong or not, you will always be the one apologizing. Girls love that, and they cannot stand guys who do not know how to apologize.Because we are human being..sorry are not the hardest words...come on...

Understand that girls are built differently, and they are absolutely not interested in fast cars and monster trucks and the like. This is one of the primary facts about girls every guy should know.

Girls are very self-conscious by nature, and the sooner you can accept that, the better. They will always look at themselves in front of the mirror because they can't help it. Do not deride them for this, or they will drop you like a hot potato. This guide to understanding women in relationships will also prove useful to you....!

A girl will always think she looks fat, no matter what. You have to comfort her and convince her otherwise. This goes hand in hand with their self-conscious nature so you better get used to it.

Never ever fool around with a friend or relative of a girl whom you're with. Girls love to talk about the randomest of things, so you will be caught sooner or later. The wonderfully named Mr. Woods couldn't escape this predicament, so how can you.
Speaking of which, girls love to gossip. This is the only way they can entertain themselves when they are together. Out of all the facts about girls that guys should know, this is probably the most well known already.

When it comes to gifts, something meaningful and thoughtful is far more important than its price. Sure, something expensive won't hurt, but girls are absolute suckers for mushy and thoughtful gifts. So get to work and start thinking of things that are important to her.

If you are out with your friends, she wants them to see how involved you'll are. She will kiss you in front of them, and make you feel like an embarrassed jelly bean. Your friends may laugh at you, but they're just jealous. Learn to reciprocate these feelings.
On the other hand, when you are out with her girlfriends, it's best to keep your hands to yourself. The last thing she wants is to feel tied down by you, and you need to act tactfully in such a situation.

Always remember all those damn dates and birthdays. This is important to them, and if you forget, your stock will plummet drastically. Store it in your phone, or stick your wall with post-its, but just remember them no matter what. Most guys are not aware about these facts on girls, and ultimately pay the price.

Lastly, always compliment her. One of the most interesting facts about girls is that they love being the center of attention, so what's holding you back. Comment on her hair, her eyes, her dress, her body and everything else that you can think of. The relationship advice for men and relationship advice for guys given here will also help you out.

So these were some of the facts about girls that guys don't know much about, but if you've been paying attention you have got the drift of it. It doesn't take much to understand these things, but putting them into practice is the tough bit. Girls are not that hard as you think..we are that easy...come on guys..

Monday, April 25, 2011

why women need attention?

Ever wonder why women need attention? Do you find this emotional need frustrating? Does it seem silly?
There is a very strong evolutionary purpose for women needing attention. Perhaps if this need were better understood, couples would be more comfortable with it.
Some females (those who ended up having a better strategy), discovered that if they could mate with a male who would stay around, they would have protection, investment in their offspring, and even additional food.
But how does do primates, without written or oral language figure out who would stick around or not? They look for signs or clues.

The males who were attentive, and could show or express in some way their desire to stick around were the males the females would trust and with whom they would mate. Those males who did not show attention, were less likely to find a long term partner who would want to mate with them.

Females became highly instinctively sensitive to these attentiveness clues. If a male was attentive, she would mate with him. If he was not, she would not.

Today, we have language which can be used to express devotion and attention so men can verbally express their feelings and emotions. But the underlying need for attention and devotion is still operating in humans.

It is important to remember that there is a very clear and powerful instictual reason why women must feel important and loved in a relationship prior to engaging in physical intimacy.

Rather than fight women's instintive need for attention, why not submit to it. It will only improve the relationship!

source:jennifer jones. :)

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

from the bottoms of someone heart

is it hard to respect your partner? i don't think so...people who appreciate their relationship will do anything for the love ones. am i rite? especially for the person who in love with a girl/guy, the only key to survive the relationship success to the wedding aisle are the RESPECT and try to APPRECIATE. That is the main key. But if they don't have that...i don't know what will happen next.

If you keep on with your ego attitude..hurm.. i do not know until when this relationship will survive. Dear God, I pray and keep my words to keep this relationship long lasting until the end of time. Please..please...please give me a lot of patience and tolerance..please..please...i need to survive through this things. I have my own plan..please Allah...make it happen.. Amin.